Once Again, the Oregon Ducks Neuter the Washington Huskies


I’ve never seen so many sad people wearing purple before. I mean, wearing purple is depressing enough on its own, but factor in a 43-19 ass whooping by your cross-state rival and there’s plenty of reasons to shed a tear.

For the sixth straight year. Man, it must suck to be a Husky fan.

I couldn't resist.

I couldn't resist.

What once used to be a heated rivalry turned into the Bob Barker special: “Help control the pet population. Have your pet spayed or neutered.”

And the Oregon Ducks were happy to oblige, slicing and dicing the Huskies all afternoon. Several collective whimpers bellowed from the cheerless spectators who called the early-emptying confines of Husky Stadium home.

I couldn’t be happier that my roommate talked me into making the five-hour road trip up to the University of Washington. The jaunt marked many firsts for me, including my first away Ducks game, and my first steps within the city limits of Seattle. And boy, did I learn a lot, both on and off the field.

And lucky for you, I’m in a sharing mood.

Here are my thoughts:

  • Oregon is a dominant football team when Jeremiah Masoli is on the field and playing well.
  • LaMichael James might just be the best running back in the Pac-10.
  • Jake Locker is overrated.
  • The Washington Huskies are overrated.
  • Our marching band is much cooler than Washington’s.
  • Husky stadium does not get anywhere nearly as loud as Autzen Stadium.
  • Seattle is the cleanest city I have ever seen.
  • “I quack for chip” is much cooler than “I bark for sark”. Who said rhyming was so cool anyway?
  • It’s hard to look good when you’re wearing purple.
  • It’s hard to talk shit when you’re coming off an 0-12 season and you’ve lost to us five straight seasons.
  • But Husky fans did anyway.
  • It’s easy to counter a Husky Fan who talks shit.
  • UW’s campus is huge. They have about five times more buildings than UO does, and each building is massive and poorly marked.
  • However, I must say their campus is gorgeous. Although mildly creepy at night.
  • The Oregon student section affectionately dubbed Locker with the nickname “needle dick”.
  • Washington fans have no response when we chant “Fuck the Huskies.”
  • Husky Vision sucks.
  • Oregon’s uniforms are so clean, Mr. Clean would be proud.
  • Washington’s uniforms, however, are gross. Time to upgrade.
  • Love this quote from LMJ: “By Wednesday I knew we were going to win, because we practice harder than any team in the country.”
  • Husky Stadium is a gigantic shit hole.
  • However, tailgating on Lake Washington would be awesome.
  • Piroshkies are delicious: shout out to Piroshky Piroshky in Pikes Place Public Market.
  • Downtown Seattle is awesome. Definitely could live there.
  • Oregon committed way too many stupid penalties. If we want to beat USC, we can’t give away extra chances or give back first downs.
  • After shaking off the rust in the first quarter, Masoli looked healthy, throwing accurately and not afraid to take off and run the ball when he needed to.
  • Washington’s marching band looks like a giant group of broken purple condoms.
  • Oregon’s Color Guard is jawdroppingly terrible. No talent, no effort, no cute girls, no excitement, not worth watching. It looks kind of like the NBA all-star game: “Yea we’ll practice together once before the game but that’s it”! They are so bad they are basically asking to get made fun of, and I am more than happy to oblige.
  • Chris Polk is a very good running back. Extremely quick and deceptively shifty, shrugging off tacklers with ease.
  • Oregon’s defense and special teams once again kept them in the game. This time by creating a huge momentum swing after returning a block punt for a touchdown.
  • Cliff Harris is going to be an absolute beast.
  • Kenny Rowe is an absolute beast.
  • Javes Lewis is an absolute beast.
  • The entire defense is absolutely beastly.
  • Not many teams can keep up with the Ducks’ speed on offense.
  • The Huskies are not one of them.
  • Oregon has beaten the Huskies six times in a row – all by more than 20 points.
  • The guy who won Homecoming King for Washington looked mildly homosexual.
  • Big Balls Chip should be the frontrunner for Pac-10 coach of the year. He made great decisions on the field and had his team extremely focused for a very possible let down game.
  • Puddles is the coolest mascot in college football.
  • College Gameday better come to Eugene on Halloween for the USC game next weekend.
  • I better get a ticket tomorrow for the USC game .
  • If we win next weekend, the national championship is a legitimate possibility.
  • We better win next weekend.

View pictures from the trip here.

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7 responses

  1. I disagree about the noise. HS is significantly louder than Autzen, which is also loud. I do admit that you have had a good run and a very good team now. Not to be disrespectful but many of you including yourself act as if they have been there. You still have not won a RB. You did win the fiesta and that was quite a game but don’t act like you have surpassed what we have done (played in 12 RB and in James’s 18 years played in 6, won 4, won an Orange bowl and shared a national championship. You guys have a good program but are not to that level.

    • Honestly, I dont care about all that. That past is the past. UW hasn’t been competitive for over 6 years. Oregon has constantly been in top 3 in the Pac-10 this decade. When you’re a student right now, would you rather be good now or good in the past? I’d take right now. God damn am I excited for USC.

  2. please don’t move to Seattle. please stay in Oregon.

    “Fuck the Huskies” chant! so original! I think the cougs have had that one for a few decades now.

    even if the ducks win out, there is no way in hell they play for the national title.

  3. Bottom line.
    1) huskies first pac team to go 0 and fuckin 12.
    Are you really opening your mouth?
    2) this stuff about us duck fans being ignorant and cocky… When was the last time that you could confidently say your home was one of the most intimidating places to play in the nation?
    3) last yr I sat in the shithole known as memorial stadium and watched half the stadium fill up. PAC 10 implications all over that game. Fairweather fans scared of the rain.
    4) I’ve been chanting fuck the (opposite team) since high school. Doesn’t matter where you’re at buddy, you’re gonna hear ” fuck the —-”
    5) the huskies have literally…. Literally been the laughing stock of the PAC 10.

  4. Well this is super old, just came across it though while on google. I am a HUSKY fan and will be for life, but…yes the last 6yrs have been bad but yes we have won MUCH more than the klucks. With all of that said, you are still one funny motherfucker! Congrats on being able to watch your team become pac10 champs…DAWGS are on the uprise so watch out!

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