The Not Quite Week 3 NFL Power Rankings


This has been a hectic week as the end of summer approaches and a long road trip back to Oregon stands just a few days away. And of course, I’ve put writing and hanging out with the girlfriend ahead of sleep, packing, rubbing my once again undefeated fantasy football weekend into the noses of my friends and car searching (more on that later). So with just 72 hours till I hit I-5 northbound to Eugene, what better use for time could I find than sharing my week three power rankings? Wait, don’t answer that question. I don’t want to face reality.

Who wouldn't trust this guy??

Who wouldn't trust this guy??

Before I get to the rankings I’ll share a story for those of you who take pleasure in other people’s misfortune. If you kept reading, I am obligated by the great state of Wyoming to call you a sadist. I kid, I kid. So about a month ago I was driving home from work in stop-and-go traffic, rocking out to Taylor Swift (I blame my girlfriend for that) and minding my own business, when suddenly I hear a loud thud and feel a violent thrust forward into my steering wheel, propelling my Honda Accord into the Lincoln Towncar ahead of me like a sandwich (mmm pastrami…). Beautiful. Luckily, the person behind me took blame for the incident, so my car repairs were on her dime. Unluckily, my hood was smashed, bumpers were busted, and fenders were finished, so when I took it to the mechanic the next morning I was delighted to find out that the damage was too great to fix it. Car totaled. But I got a check for just under $8,000 and a rental car. Should be enough money and time to find a decent car before I head back to school, right, right?

You would think. So I actually found a perfect car a few days later, the same Honda Accord but four years newer and 15,000 less miles, fully loaded, navi, leather seats. Almost too good to be true. It drives well, so I take it to the mechanic to check it out, it passed. Whew! I’m in the clear. The owner of the car, a spoiled, rich kid screw-up alerts me he is going to San Diego for the weekend and I can buy the car on Monday. Sounds like a plan. So I called him Monday. Again on Tuesday. Wednesday. Finally, I get a call back on Thursday, knowing something is not right. For this kid to make $8,300 bucks, all he had to do was not crash the car. Apparently he isn’t good at following directions.

And to make matters worse, as I was driving to work in the rental car the next week, just as I was merging onto the freeway, a huge Ford F250 decides to lose his patience and swerve around me, knocking off my side view mirror in the process, and then jetting off knowing it’s too late for me to get out of the freeway lame. Great, there goes $400.

So back to searching on craigslist. I find a 2000 Honda Accord, the exact same model and options as my first car, but a year newer and 14,000 miles less. Looks like a good deal. He listed it above Kelly Blue Book but I talked him down to a reasonable price. So I took it to a mechanic and found out it needed over $1,000 worth of repairs and services that should have already happened. And of course, he wasn’t willing to chip in, so sorry Charlie, I’m moving on.

So on Sunday night, less than a week before leaving for Oregon, I gave up and decided to have my dad drive me up and worry about getting a car later. But then the perfect car popped up on craigslist. A 2003 Honda Civic Hybrid, with a 5-year warranty for $7000.

So I test drive the car, it drives well, so I set up an appointment with a mechanic the next morning to get it checked out and hopefully buy it later that day. And guess what? I get awoken by the ring of my cell phone, and it wasn’t good news. Apparently, the car he was going to buy fell through, so now he wasn’t selling his. What a bummer. Why does car searching have to be so tantalizing??

So now me, and my girlfriend who is coming up for the weekend, are stuck driving up to school with my dad and immature, bratty 12-year-old brother. And there you have it, my hopelessly sad, sob story about how unlucky, doomed and ill-fated my endeavors were into finding a replacement car. Don’t you just feel a little better about yourself right now?

Oh, and about the power rankings, it’s too late to crank them out tonight. Look for a succinct version tomorrow, as I really have a lot of packing I need to do.

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One response

  1. I’m sorry, Keith. Something will work out. Also, don’t just limit your car searches to Craig’s List. Try looking at Enterprise.com (they sell cars as well as rent them) and CarMax.com and such. Best of luck! Let me know if you need any help as I just went through something not entirely dissimilar…

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