Oregon Ducks Dress Up as the Grim Reaper, Kill USC on Halloween Night

If you’ve never been to a big game at Autzen stadium, I suggest you do everything in your power to do so. Take out a loan, put your wife or girlfriend up for prostitution, sell your kids. Whatever it takes. These options are all better than being forced to watch an Oregon Ducks home game from your couch.

This guy is my idol.

This guy is my idol.

Yesterday was honestly the best day of my life. And I’ve had some great days. Being born, for one. Jerry Rice once stepped on my foot at a YMCA post-game party. J.T. Snow moved in next door when I was 12, and the first thing I said to him was that Eric Chavez was my favorite player.

I was at the A’s game when they finally won a division series in 2006, and even better, I was there, sitting 10 rows away, when Frank Francisco lost his mind and threw a chair into the stands.

See I’ve had some great days, but none have came even close to the absolute mayhem that ensued yesterday from 4:30 in the morning when I showed up at ESPN’s College Game Day, all the way until 10 pm when the students finally started clearing the field.

To sum up, here’s what I tweeted last night, at 2 a.m. no less, mildly intoxicated. “UOsportsdude: Game day. Nap. Pre-game. Game. Celebration. Beer pong. Drunk dialing my gf. Now that’s what I call a good day.”

So now that we have established that yesterday was officially the best day ever, unless you are a USC fan, or Bernie Madoff, here are some of my thoughts on the game.

· Hey Matt Barkley, can you hear us now? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

· Can we just make it official? Autzen is the loudest stadium in the country. USC had five false starts in the first half alone. I lost count after that.

· Can we just give “Big Balls” Chip Kelly the national Coach of the Year award, right now? Seriously. Drive it to his house right now.

· And how cool is Chip? He dressed up as Puddles at Game Day. What a baller.

· And if that weren’t enough, when asked about why the Ducks are so successful in the second half, he coolly says, “Our halftime adjustments are just try to get a drink of water, touch your toes and go back out and play.”

· One more reason to love Chip Kelly: “We don’t recruit guys to play in games like this, we recruit guys to win games like this.”

· I wonder what Jeremiah Masoli did last night. I bet the second he left the locker room, someone had a beer and a perfect 10 waiting for him.

· I actually feel like I single-handedly had a part in the Ducks win last night. And of course, the 59,591 other people in the Autzen zoo.

· Last night was the worst lost in Pete Carroll’s tenure with the Trojans, and the second worst loss in the history of USC.

· In his past 93 games, Carroll had never lost by more than a single touchdown.

· Oregon rushed for 391 yards against a team that ranked fifth in the nation in rushing defense, allowing just 80 yards a game. The Ducks had 613 yards of total offense, the second-highest total USC has ever allowed after Notre Dame’s 623 in 1946.

· I still love the Song Girls, though.

· LaMichael James is now officially added to my man crush list. Jeremiah Masoli, you’re next.

· The setting for last night’s game was a perfect storm. Night game. Halloween. ESPN Game Day. In Autzen. I didn’t meet a single Duck fan who wasn’t 100 percent confident we would win.

· I also didn’t meet a single USC fan that talked trash before the game. I guess they knew what was coming.

· I hugged Will Tukuafu on the field after the game.

· There were about 15 people dressed in farm animal costumes last night. Why? I don’t know.

· Best costume of the night goes to the Oregon coconut bra guy, who uncannily resembled the Joker. Good work, man.

· I can’t believe that just two years ago, USC was my first choice for college. I think I made the right decision coming to Eugene.

· Stat of the Night: Oregon gained 99 more yards again the Trojans than they did against Washington State. Wow.

· The only good news for USC fans? They can sleep in on New Year’s Day.

· Here’s the best article I read from a USC perspective, from the LA Times .

· Oregon beat the Trojans so badly that the USC president is now planning to retire after 19 years at the helm.

· I’m sorry, but the Ducks are not the eighth best team in the country. Iowa, Cinci, Boise State and TCU? Come on. Three mid-majors whose only good win collectively, is the Broncos beating Oregon when they were a completely different team, and a team from the Big Ten, which might be a worse conference than the WAC.

· Only Florida, Bama, and Texas should be higher. And I think we could beat any of these teams right now.

· As of this moment, I would be honestly disappointed in a Rose Bowl appearance. I would rather play a team from the Big 12 in the Holiday Bowl than crush Iowa in the Rose Bowl.

· Title game, or bust, baby.

· My favorite sign from Game Day: “Matt Barkley reads Twilight .” It’s a long ride back to LA, Matt. Read up.

· The only thing I am disappointed with is that Oregon didn’t go full blackout. How sick would those uni’s have been?

· Quote of the night goes to Masoli: “We plan on doing this. If we make a statement, we make a statement. That’s just Oregon football and how we roll.”

· I am flying home for next week’s game at Stanford. Best $300 investment ever made…by my dad.

· I am going to make my girlfriend paint me in Oregon colors from head to waist, and she is going to have to put up with me in “Oregon football mode” for an entire afternoon. I apologize in advance.

· I said it before, but it bears repeating. I am more all in Oregon football than Charles Barkley and John Daly at a poker table—and I couldn’t be happier.


If you want to check out more pics of the game, please go to U of O student Christina Barth’s Flickr page here.

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine


15 responses

  1. Good read man. The Utah game this season was my first trip to autzen ever and probably my last until the Georgia bulldogs come to town in 2015, but unfortunately I’ll have to cheer against the ducks that day. Anyway, watching the beatdown of the beloved Trojans was so enjoyable however I doubt ESPN will ever get over it’s trojan fetish. I definitely think the ducks are a top 5 team but that Boise state loss is still haunting us. Again, good review! Go Ducks!

  2. “In Autzen. I didn’t meet a single Duck fan who wasn’t 100
    percent confidant we would win.”

    I think you mean ‘confident’.

    Overall a great read, good that you brought in an article from USC’s perspective too. I’m not a huge sports fan but I did love reading this article. 🙂

  3. Enjoyed this lots!! Hilarious@Cocoa Tits. In the beginning of the season, all the shit talking to Chip and Masoli was really ridiculous. Look who’s laughing now bitches! 🙂

  4. Can someone put a montage together with Matt B’s comments on Sports Center over the numerous false starts and poor passes Matt douched out on Saturday. I don’t know how to do it because I’m lame and in my 40’s.

    The game was awesome. I had 4 Trojans sitting in front of me. I was their worst nightmare.

  5. That game was the most sublime sports event that I have ever been to. From gameday to pregaming to the walk, it was amazing. And then the game, that was incredible. At no point during the entire contest did I, or anyone around me (approx.10000 students, half of whom sneaked into the student section), have the thought of a loss cross my mind. It was an utter domination of a top-notch opponent, finally exposing the nation to the fact that Oregon really is a national title contender. The environment created by our fans, especially the students, was unbelievable. The student section was insane, I have never seen it as rowdy as it was on Halloween. It was so overflowing with people that security didn’t allow many ticketed students in. Which stopped no-one. I had read articles about the match-up all week, and in every one they mentioned how our fans would no doubt be “well lubricated.” What an understatement. If I had to venture a guess, I would say that 99% of the student section had been drinking, 75% were heavily intoxicated, and 25% had really taken the blackout theme to heart and indeed were blacked-out . The combination of a huge game on halloween at night in autzen paired with the way Oregon flat out wrecked USC created the biggest shit-show of a football environment that I have ever seen or heard of. Jumping the fence, rushing the field, celebrating with the players. There’s no way to explain it. If you weren’t there, you have no clue. Autzen baby, there’s no other place like it.

    By the way, your website is tight, and your writing is really good. Keep it up.

    • Me too. I was really surprised we didn’t at least go with the blackout. Some people said we change to the black jerseys after warm-ups but no. Whatever, I’ll take it lol.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s