A Half-Baked Suggestion for the WNBA


Here is a question I submitted to Bill Simmon’s mailbag, my first one ever, believe it or not.

If you are a staunch feminist, or just can’t take a joke, please don’t read any further. If you have a sense of humor, I would like your feedback.

In light of the Brittney Griner punch, I’ve noticed that womens sports only get national headlines when something bad happens. I bet you can’t tell me who won the 2008 WNBA title but you probably know which star got a DUI or which college soccer player got suspended for punching and pulling hair (this is a truly great video:  watch below). Let’s face it, the WNBA is never going to get popular for its monotonous lay-ups or boring set shots. So I say run with it. Bad publicity beats zero publicity.

My friend (@TheVermonster) I and were tweeting back and forth about “The Punch” and what it means for womens sports. He said they won’t be legitimized until they act feloniously like their male counterparts, emphasizing the WNBA’s need for gunplay. I jokingly countered, saying he shouldn’t leave out domestic violence, DUIs or multiple baby daddies in different states. He in turn said, are you trying to legitimize womens sports or them into Florida State grads?

This made me think, why can’t it be both? The WNBA should only allow players who attended FSU. Think about it, they would be hot, most likely alcoholic, and would provide plenty of headlines off the court. Who wouldn’t watch that?

But then I had a thought even the Sports Guy himself would be proud of: Why stop there, we could turn the WNBA into a reality show. How about The Real World: WNBA. Imagine the possibilities of this. Put six women in a house, five typical butch-ish women, and then one cute girl, just to all the other ones jealous, and let them fight it out for the alpha dog spot. Imagine the tension. Playing pick-up in the backyard, or at the bar when the cute one attracts all the attention. This could be as popular as Jersey Shore. I don’t know a single guy who watches the WNBA, but I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t watch this.

I’m going to hell for this post.

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